On behalf of Mets fans, I plead with Sandy Alderson to end the Daisuke Matsuzaka experiment. Between the nibbling around the plate, the walks, and the excessive time taken between pitches, watching him pitch is a trying task. Start someone, anyone, in his place, so fans are no longer subjected to the excruciating Dice-K experience.
Last night, SNY had some fun with Dice-K's pace by featuring a timer to measure the seconds that passed in between his pitches:
That's how a nine-inning game lasts 3 hours, 32 minutes. SNY also provided a graphic of the slowest-working pitchers in recent seasons:
He has needed 194 pitches to make it through just 9.1 innings pitched with the Mets. Woof. These are a few of the things I would rather do than watch Daisuke Matsuzaka pitch:
- Attend a lecture given by Jeff Wilpon entitled "How to succeed in business: Advice from a self-made entrepeneur"
- Be shown the Bronx by Bobby Bonilla.
- Take the 7 Train local from Times Square to Citi Field during the U.S. Open in 100-degree weather.
- Pop Mike Piazza's back pimples.
- Be given the A Clockwork Orange treatment, forced to watch painful Mets moments from recent seasons:
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- Get berated by Terry Collins after showing up "late" to spring training.
- Tweeze Josh Satin's eyebrows.
- Catch a ride home from the bar from Mets bullpen catcher Eric Langill.
- Invest 100% of my 401(k) in the new Wilpon mutual fund "Citi Field Attendance Index Fund"
- Eat an entire McFadden's Citi Field Sampler Platter and wash it down with three neon-blue test tube shots.
- Be told to turn my head and cough during a physical exam with Mets head trainer Ray Ramirez.
- Watch Mets games featuring a broadcast team of Michael Kay, John Sterling, and Suzyn Waldman.
- Participate in an eating contest to the death against Mo Vaughn.
- Watch Steve Trachsel pitch.
